


The Way He Looks At Me

by alwaysthefour



Category: Beatles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 19:36:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20644541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysthefour/pseuds/alwaysthefour
Summary: Ringo and George have always suspected there was something special about Paul and John’s relationship. Are they right?





	1. Just Mates

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a fanfic. Feedback is appreciated!

Paul was used to John hurling insults at him. Paul just stood there, listening to John rant about the chaos of being a Beatle. Paul knew better than to say anything, he knew that saying something would only fuel John more. So he just listened. 

“Listen you git, I swear if Brian doesn’t get his shit together I’ll do it for him. What does he want us to do? Just keep smiling and answering the same fucking questions?” John’s irritation was increasing but Paul still kept quiet. 

“Are you listening to me you twat? You just love it don’t you? Well I don’t. I can’t have any fucking peace with this mess!” Paul crosses over to the opposite end of the room to steal a glance out the window. Hoards of screaming, crying fans swarmed below. Paul wonders for a minute what it would be like to be one of them. Suddenly he felt someone viscously shaking his shoulder. 

“Paul pay the fuck attention!” Paul’s shoulder starts to ache. He spins around to face his bandmate, the irritation still flashing in his eyes. Paul wonders why he puts up with John’s verbal assaults to begin with. 

A door opens and an out of breath voice says  
“We did it. We made it back in one piece.” Ringo and George nearly collapse on the floor from exhaustion. Hearts pounding, they give John a perplexing look. 

“What are you so pissed off about? You didn’t have survive that mess out there.” John’s eyes flash with anger, startling the two on the floor. Paul continues to rub his shoulder and musters the courage to speak up. 

“John, you’re the one that started this group, it’s not Brian’s fault. He’s doing the best he can.” John thinks about countering Paul’s point with a smart remark but doesn’t. He crosses over to the window, takes a cigarette out of his pocket and lights it. 

The screaming of the fans was becoming deafening. John wished he could just disappear and Paul wondered why his friend always reacted with such hostility towards everything and everybody. He knew that John didn’t have a stable home life but it still didn’t make sense. 

“So now what?” The voice belonging to George, once again drawing attention to the pair sitting on the floor. They honestly didn’t know. They were tired of being cooped up in hotel rooms all day. They wanted something more but Brian insisted they not go anywhere for their safety. Minutes seemed like hours. 

“That’s it. I’m going out there even if it hurts me. Brain can bitch all he wants about safety. I’ll go mad if I have to stay in here a minute longer.” John turned to leave when Paul grabbed his forearm. 

“John you can’t. Please stay.” There was a desperation to Paul’s voice. The feeling of Paul’s hand on his forearm caused him to pause. He had two options, clock Paul upside the head for being a right git or stay. John fought the urge to hit his friend and instead gave in. John cursed himself for doing so. Yet, there was a feeling that he couldn’t let go of. There was something about Paul’s pleading that got to him, he just didn’t know why. 

“I’m bored” The voice coming from the drummer sitting on the floor. “I fancy looking about. Brian didn’t say we had to stay in our room. He just said to stay in the hotel.” George fancied that idea too and proceeded to follow his friend out the door and down the hall. John’s anger seemed to settle and the irritation in his eyes was replaced with a sense of loss. Paul felt sorry for his friend and wondered how to cheer him up. 

John sat on the bed, cigarette between his lips. Paul sat down beside his friend. It took John a moment to realize that Paul was even there. He acknowledged him with a sideways glance but said nothing. Paul was unsure of what to do. He felt sorry for his friend but didn’t want to make him angry. Slowly and silently, Paul crept closer. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” John began to inch away, unsure of what to do. Paul came to rest a hand on his shoulder. For a moment neither spoke. The silence hung in the air like smoke. It was Paul who broke the silence. 

“John, I know you were upset earlier about all the chaos but I couldn’t help but feel that there’s something else that’s bothering you. I know we fight and we don’t always get along but you’re me best mate. You know you can tell me what’s bothering ya.” Paul’s hand had moved onto his back. Paul looked at him with pleading eyes. How else could he help his friend? 

John took another puff on his cigarette, oblivious to Paul’s presence. “Please John?” With his cigarette finished, he turned to Paul. Paul braced himself for another verbal assault. To his surprise, John did not attack him with hurtful words or names. John turned into Paul, as if seeking a comforting embrace. Paul understood and took his friend in his arms. He had never seen John like this and became worried. 

“John, are you alright?” Paul’s voice shook with concern. He sat there with his friend, just holding him, neither exchanging words. Paul felt a mixture of emotions from uncertainty to enjoyment of this intimate moment with his friend. It has been an hour since Ringo and George went exploring. Paul wonders what they will do when they return. 

“We’re still bored.” George entered the room with a smug look on his face. Ringo followed. The sight of the two men on the bed struck them with intrigue. They wanted to ask what it was all about but they decided against it. Still, they couldn’t help but wonder what exactly was going on between the two. 

John released himself from Paul’s embrace and looked at the others. He scoffed “what the hell are you two looking at? Get on will you?” Paul rose from the bed. “I think I fancy dinner. I don’t know about you but I’m going to see what they have.” That was enough to distract Ringo and George from their thoughts for the moment. 

After they finished and returned to their room for the night, and after Ringo and George were asleep, John nudged Paul awake. “Yeah?” His tone indicating that he was nearly asleep. John poked him. “Hey!” He nearly yelled. “Be quiet you git! I just wanted to tell you something. So shut up and listen.” Paul obeyed. “Earlier today, what you did, I really appreciate that. At first I thought it was queer but after a moment, I didn’t care anymore. It showed me that I can be a right git and you’ll still care. So, thanks.” Paul was stunned to silence, all he could think to do was to wrap his friend in a warm embrace once more. 

“I know you’re a right git John, but you’re also me best mate.” John relaxed in the comfort of his friend’s embrace. Tomorrow would probably be another day from hell, but at least he’d have his best mate.


	2. Just Between Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ringo and George’s intrigue heighten when they spot John and Paul in an interesting situation. Paul learns something new.

The sunlight broke through the curtains, shining right into John’s eyes. He had no idea what time it was. He looked down at his bandmate sleeping soundly and decides to leave him be. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he makes his way to the bathroom. He takes a long look at himself in the mirror. He curses himself. He slanders himself. He continues to get himself ready for the day when he hears a knock. 

“John, may I come in?” It was George, John continued to busy himself. The knock came again. John would let him in when he was ready, besides he got amusement out of irritating his friends. He wondered how much it would take to really push George’s buttons. He could sense George getting fed up and only then did he answer the door. George pushed his way past John without saying a word. John smiled to himself. 

Coming back into the bedroom that he and Paul shared, he couldn’t help but be shocked by Paul’s natural beauty. His brown eyes, his ruffled hair. There was something different about his friend that he just couldn’t figure out. “Morning.” He greeted his friend. Paul took his time waking up, besides it would just be another day of press conferences and album promotions. Nothing new since they’ve been here in America. 

They could hear Ringo in the adjoining bedroom, getting himself ready, ready for another day of manic fans and probably being chased. Paul slowly walked to the bathroom, not wanting to speed up the process. John followed his friend with his eyes. Paul closed the door behind him, he started the water. The feeling that John had yesterday crept back, that unnamed feeling. John stole a glance towards the bathroom, little did Paul know, the door was not entirely closed. 

He saw Paul’s bare shoulders, but nothing more. The sight of Paul’s bare shoulders sent a sensation through John, one he had never felt before. He cursed himself. Attempting to distract himself he went into the kitchen. Ringo was busy cooking breakfast for himself and his friends but sensed that something was going on with John. He took the risk and confronted his friend. 

“John, is there something you want to talk about? Are you and Paul alright?” John sat himself down at the table, ignoring the questions. He could not figure out why he felt the way he did, or even what he felt. Something about being in Paul’s embrace made him feel loved, safe, wanted...and queer? John damned himself for thinking such. Ringo tries again. 

“Look John, I’m not saying that you and Paul are into each other but there’s something odd about the way you two act around each other. That’s all I’m saying.” John nearly flipped the table in anger, this sent Ringo reeling back. “Good God John all I did was ask a question. I’m sorry.” John settled at the table once more then retorted, “listen you twat, there is nothing and I mean fucking nothing going on between that git and I got it? So if I were you, I wouldn’t bring it up again.” He slammed his fists on the table for emphasis. 

Hearing the commotion, Paul and George rush into the kitchen, nearly colliding. “What’s going on here?” Asked Paul with anxious intrigue. The frightened expression on Ringo’s face and John’s silence seemed to hold the answer. “Never mind that, let’s eat.” Ringo sat himself at the table not making eye contact with John. Paul and George took the two remaining seats. “Do you think we’ll have a day like yesterday or will Brian come to his senses?” George was attempting to lighten the mood but it didn’t seem to be working. The other three remained silent, picking at their breakfast. 

Excusing himself, John went back into the bedroom he shared with Paul. “Ringo, what exactly happened? Paul probed. Ringo remained silent. “Just tell us why he’s upset, I’m not saying you did anything ,it just seems odd that he’s so upset this early.” Ringo let out a sigh and made eye contact with his bandmates. “All I did was ask him a question and he nearly flips the table.” Paul was not satisfied with this answer. “He doesn’t just attempt to flip tables every time someone asks him a question. What exactly did you ask?” Ringo tried to take his eyes off Paul but he was not successful. 

“Lord, Ringo all I want to know is what you asked him. That’s all.” Paul was getting irritated and George felt stuck in the middle of it all. “If I tell you, will you try to flip the table?” Paul gave him a puzzled look in response. “Of course not, that’s daft. Now what was it that you asked him?” Paul could feel his patience running out and George could feel tension rising. “I asked him if there was something going on between you two.” Paul did not understand what he meant by that. “Are you implying that he and I have it in for each other?” The anxiety started to wash over Ringo in waves, he began to look ill. George couldn’t take it any longer. 

“Paul, leave him be! It’s not his fault John is temperamental. John was daft to react like that and you’re equally daft for coming after him like this!” The anger was evident in his voice. Ringo sat himself at the table and sipped some tea in an attempt to calm his stomach. “Have both of you gone mad? We can’t ask each other questions without being irritated with each other. If you’re so concerned about John then why don’t you go talk to him? Ringo just asked a question. There was no need to react like that.” Paul thought about retorting but said nothing. Instead he walked into the room that he and John shared. 

“Are you alright?” George’s voice was full of concern for his friend. Ringo tried to steady his hands on the mug, his stomach still turning with anxiety. “It’s alright Rings, I promise.” Ringo let a half smile cross his face, he liked being called Rings by George. It was something special between them. “Honestly, they can’t take anything without making something worse out of it. I mean, trying to flip the fucking table? You shouldn’t let them speak to you like that, and I certainly won’t let them.” He gave his friend a reassuring hug. “Now let’s get going before Brian suspects something.” They left the table, dishes and all and braced themselves for the mania. John and Paul did not join them. 

The deafening sound of cries and screams filled their ears. Girls tried to push past police officers and tried to reach out to Ringo and George. They kept moving. The sound of camera clicks and bright flashes met their eyes. They spot Brian in the distance and make their way over to the table where their press conference was to be held. The questions start pouring in. 

“What do you like most about being a Beatle?”   
“Do you ever feel like John and Paul overshadow you?”   
“If you weren’t a Beatle, what would you be doing?” The reporters didn’t seem to notice that the other two were absent, but Brian did. He leaned over and tapped George on the shoulder. “Where are they?” His voice full of anxiety. “They are supposed to be here. What happened?” George whispered back, “we got in a fight of sorts and chose to let them be. They’ll come.” Ringo stared straight ahead, hoping the girl’s screams would drown out the private conversation. 

Back at the hotel John was fuming. Paul knew better than to interject and let John’s anger run its course. “What the bloody hell is wrong with them? I’m not a fucking queer! I should’ve flipped that fucking table just to show them. Where in the hell did they get that idea from? I know what a queer is and I’m not one. Hell, I should’ve said that about him and George. What in the literal fuck?” John kicked the bed in anger. “What the hell made him ask something so stupid? Is he mad?” His face was flushing red with anger. “John, you should try to calm down. How about a smoke?” He offered a cigarette and John did not hesitate to take it. 

Still, the question from yesterday reformed in Paul’s head. Why did John react this way to something so seemingly harmless as a question? It nagged at him like an itch that can’t be reached. John put out his cigarette and sat on the bed. “I’m fucking not.” He reassured himself. Paul moved over to his friend and once more, put a hand on his shoulder. “John, I’m worried about you. You’ve been really upset lately. Do you want to talk?” Something about the way Paul asked made him give in. “I just don’t fucking get it. Everyone thinks I’m a queer. Everyone thinks that we have it in for each other. I’m fucking sick of it. All of it. I just want everyone to mind their own damn business. Is that so fucking hard?” The anger was replaced with genuine frustration. A pleading of sorts. John fought back the urge to be in Paul’s arms once more. He couldn’t do that, people would really think he was a queer then. 

“I suppose we should get moving. Brian is probably pitching a fit right about now.” They headed out into the mania. Brian’s face lights up when he sees them and the already deafening screams get louder. They sit through another round of questions before leaving. Evening is approaching and the four decide to part ways, needing a much deserved break from the mania and each other. John and Paul head to a well known tavern where they decide to get dinner and drinks. Girls swarm them and grab at them as they come in but they don’t care enough to do anything about it. They find a secluded table, away from it all and give their orders. 

By the second round of drinks, John has a buzz on and is chatting away about everything he’d like to do in America before returning to England. Paul answers and agrees as best he can. At least his friend is happy but he isn’t . Why does he act that way? The question haunting him like a ghost. By the third round John can barely make coherent sentences and that it is probably time to leave. John is stubborn and orders yet more drinks, Paul barely finished his first. Paul knew he had to get John out of there, he knew how John got when he was drunk. The media would have a field day with that story. “John, let’s go. You’re getting drunk. I can get us a cab.He helped his weak kneed friend to stand. “You need to sleep.” They catch a cab back to their hotel. Ringo and George are in the kitchen playing cards and smoking. 

Paul gently lays John on the bed, careful not to hurt him. John is humming to himself and sits up to look at Paul. Laden with alcohol and sincerity, what happened next left Paul without words. John moved to the window and thoughtfully looked at the night sky. “Ya know Paul? Those stars remind me of your eyes. So bright and beautiful. Lightning up the night.” Paul gave his friend a quizzical look. John continued, “you can be a right git but overall, you’re not so bad. I liked it when you hugged me that day. It made me feel safe, loved and wanted for once in my life. I think you’re absolutely beautiful, you’re my Paulie. Looking at you gives me sensations that I’ve never felt before. At first I didn’t like them but now I’d like to feel them. I want you.” Suddenly John was hit with a wave of nausea. He felt bile and alcohol rise up his throat. Paul led John into the bathroom where he threw up his drinks. 

As John leans over the toilet vomiting, Paul thinks about what John said. The sound of John’s vomiting worried Paul but decided there was nothing he could do until he was finished. Taking John gently by the hand, he helped to clean him up. “Stay still Johnny. You’re alright. You need to sleep.” Just then, John nearly fell over, catching his friend in his arms, he walked him to bed. “Paul, will you stay with me?” His voice sounded childlike. “I love you, I really do. Please stay. I want you.” Paul wondered what that meant. 

He climbed into bed with his drunken friend, John resting his head on Paul’s shoulder. John nuzzles his face into Paul’s neck, “John what are you doing?” Paul feels something wet against his neck, John was planting kisses up and down his neck and throat. “John! Do you know what you’re doing?” John didn’t answer. John ran his hand down Paul’s stomach, “I love you and I want you so damn much.” Paul feels a wave of pleasure wash over him. He was nervous yet excited but didn’t know what to expect. He had felt this way with girls before but never boys. Was John making him horny? Too hot and not caring what the others think, he kissed John’s neck. 

Paul felt something else too and he was overcome with the need to relieve it. “What the fuck?” For right now, Paul decided he could relieve himself later. All he wanted to feel John’s warmth, his kisses. Maybe this was why John was always so hostile. Sexual tension? “Johnny, promise me something. This will stay just between us. No one can know. Please?” John breathed into his neck, then bit down. “Just between us Paul panted, his heart rate increasing and his member getting harder. “Yes.” Came the reply. Paul could relax now. Their secret was safe, he was with his Johnny. The feeling of being queer washed away and was replaced with genuine love and affection. 

It was just between them, or so they thought. The door was left slightly opened and the sounds of lovemaking carried into the adjoining room. Neither said anything but shot each other a knowing look. “Should we tell them?” Ringo asked. “No, leave them be. They’re happy and that’s what matters. Besides you should be happy too.” Why? “You were right about them.” Ringo couldn’t help but smile. So maybe it was worth nearly having a table flipped on him. But for now, they decided to let their bandmates think that it’s just between them.


End file.
